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  • Roxana Valea

The myth of helping others

Have you ever felt a burning sensation to help others? When this urge comes to visit you, do yourself and others a favour and help yourself first. Only then will you be able to truly help others.

A preoccupation with helping others and saving the world rarely achieves anything. That’s because, paradoxically, we are all the same, and yet at the same time we are all different.


The principles of truth are the same for each of us, the laws by which our personal energy increases or decreases are the same for everyone. However, everyone is different in their approach, their outlook, their understanding. We all have our unique personality, our unique blueprint. And yet we are all part of the same energy.

What does this mean? It means that the only person you can truly help is yourself. Once you do this, the light that you radiate will be sufficient to help other people. It will do so effortlessly, and most importantly without you having to push to achieve it. Once you push, you lower your vibration and it will no longer be able to effectively help other people. The only way you can help is by not trying to help.

When you feel the drive to help or to fix someone or something, look inside. Look at the aspect in you that needs helping. Stop projecting your own issues on to the world and trying to fix them through others. Look inside yourself and see what is in need of healing right now. Once you find it, focus on that, not on its manifestation in the outside world.

Remember, life talks to us. A situation that needs rescuing in the outside world points to something in us. This is where the actual need for healing lies.

I am not saying you should ignore a person who’s drowning or that you have to pass through life as an insensitive and careless egomaniac. On the contrary. When something crosses your path, it’s there for a reason. Don’t think too much about it, just do the obvious. Use your common sense. If actions arise in you, trust them.


But do them without the obsessive intention to help. Instead, focus on spreading light, joy and good energy around you as you walk on your path. If someone asks you for advice, give it as it comes, don’t think too much about it. Answer the question that is asked of you. If someone asks for your help, help if you can. There’s nothing wrong with that.


But if someone does not ask for your advice or help, refrain from giving it. If you don’t it will be wasted, and this is the best-case scenario. In the worst-case scenario, you will end up harming the very person you are trying to help because you give them something they are not yet ready to receive. The best thing you can do for the people around you is to respect them and send them love. When actions arise in you, it’s best to check where they come from. If they come from a place of truth, honour them. If they come from a place of personal projection, go deeper and search for where in there the truth lies.

Also, there is a fundamental difference between charity and sharing abundance. Charity encourages dependency, disempowers people and is often done with the purpose of masking deep wounds within the psyche of the giver or getting energy from the very people it is aimed at ‘helping’. Sharing abundance, on the other hand, comes effortlessly, rises naturally, empowers people and increases the energy of everyone concerned.


When you give, check which place you give from and if doing this will raise or lower the energy of the receiver. If you turn inside to check, your heart will always tell you the truth.


Share your abundance on a daily basis as it comes to you. Do this by sharing love, by writing a book, by giving gifts, by creating positive experiences for yourself and others. Share the energy that arises in you by letting it flow freely. When it does, others around you will be able to use it to help cast light on their own shadows and increase their energy in the process.


As you let it flow, know that this is the only thing you can do for others. And that it is enough.

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